I spent years trying to find my “purpose”—what I was meant to do with my life. I travelled the world, switched my jobs and my school focus, got married, became a mother, and I still found myself in tears over what I was meant to be doing.

One day a friend gently said, “You already know what you were made to do. You already carry the tools that you need to do it.” And it was then that it hit me. It wasn’t about finding a purpose. It’s about knowing myself, discovering what I loved, and being who I always was. And so, I began to discover what I already knew all along.

Being human is such an odd experience. We are connected to everyone else but at the same time we are separate and have different stories and experiences. Yet here we all are. Learning and growing, walking and fumbling, laughing and crying together. Whether we are full of purpose or full of “I don’t know what the heck I am doing”—we’re here discovering who we are.

And so, you get to discover you.

What do you love doing? What lights you up? What makes you come alive?

Everyone’s answer to these questions will be different. There’s no right or wrong answer, and there’s no one to answer to but yourself.

Finding what lights you up is a self-discovery process. It’s all about you—knowing yourself, loving yourself, and being yourself.

For me? I love dirt. I mean, I love dirt. What lights me up? Dirt. It’s in dirt that I have found so much joy and discovered what I will spend my life doing. (I hope that gives you permission to be okay with whatever brings you immense joy.)

Sometimes all you need to do is give yourself permission. You are allowed to be who you are. You’re allowed to take time for yourself. You’re allowed to love what you love. You’re allowed to not know what lights you up and discover that for yourself. Nobody can do this for you, though. You’ll have to dig deep and find yourself.

Doing the hard work in the self-discovery process often looks like:

Making time for yourself. Take time to establish self-care rhythms and give yourself space to be alone. Take yourself on a date. Go do what you love and observe how you feel without judgement.

Empowering yourself. Bust out your bff advice and go get it! Positive self-talk is everything. Love yourself deeply and treat yourself well. Be strong and stand up for yourself. You’ve got this!

Trusting yourself. This isn’t easy, but you are the best advocate for your life. You know what is best for you and you can trust yourself.

Some days all we can do is be gentle with ourselves and remember the process of life. When we are fumbling through our days, we can look inward and centre, look outward and find beauty. Look inward and feel gratitude. Look outward and spread love.

May you find your light and follow the path to knowing yourself, loving yourself, and being yourself.

Written By Jade Paxton for FRANC